You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
