ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
