This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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