She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
As shirtless as possible
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
