oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
