the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
