I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This is the prime rib incident all over again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
