sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
