Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
