What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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