Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
