What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
