Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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