Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
