Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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