He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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