Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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