everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
