That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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