reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
