oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
