Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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