dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize