there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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