So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Sorry my hands just texted you
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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