I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
