My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
