brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
