i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize