i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize