Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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