it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
