He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
