Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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