if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
