Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
