You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
