Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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