Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
