We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
