WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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