I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
