Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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