But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
