Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
