i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
