She is in my trunk
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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