she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Will exercising make me less horny?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
