So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
