You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Randomize
