She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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