I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
