Someone shit on the floor
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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