Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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