Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
