I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
