Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
