A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
