fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
