Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
