Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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